


Happiness Lies in the Truth of Your Universe, So Find Your Truth

by TheAlphaGay



Series: Happiness Lies in the Truth of Your Universe [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: character tags added as they appear because i forgot every character that does, please read the notes before each chapter for CW warnings PLEASE
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-05
Updated: 2018-07-06
Packaged: 2018-12-24 03:36:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12004161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAlphaGay/pseuds/TheAlphaGay
Summary: "Fix it" au where Peridot and Lapis don't get shoved to the sidelines, Bismuth isn't vilified, I could go on. This storyline starts from the perspective of Lapis, who loves Homeworld and only knows Earth for the pain it's caused her and everyone she cares about. Maybe she can learn it's not all that bad, that the planet has treasures of peace and love for everyone, even her.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis finds her way back to Homeworld, but it’s not what she pictured her welcome back to be.

Lapis has no idea how long she’s been flying for, but what energy she has left is gone by the time she sees a Homeworld ship in the distance. It hovers near an unnamed planet in a facet she’s long forgotten, the only indication of its presence from the light of the system’s dying star. She would exclaim out loud, but its silent without an atmosphere. It’s all she can do to glide to the ship, finding the docking port at its end opposite the giant hand.

Lapis can’t hear anything but sees the active port inside, the Amethysts inside hear her smack against the forcefield, then the subsequent pounding. She’s far too tired to be embarrassed, these things usually don’t require a secure entrance anyway. They let her in through a first door that fills with air before the second opens, letting her into the large docking port. It’s filled with many Yellow quartz soldiers that make her hesitant to move any further than a few steps from her landing, staring at her as if she crawled out of exactly what she got herself into. They part as an Agate makes her way to Lapis, stopping next to the computer where the Amethysts let her in.

“What are you doing here, Lapis Lazuli? There are no authorizations for you to be here.” Agate is much taller than the other soldiers, they almost seem friendly in comparison. Lapis only catches a glimpse of her skepticism before Lapis’s eyes find the ground.

She’s already trembling slightly, suddenly struck by how long she’s been gone. She could be in more trouble than she knows being here. “I’m sorry—I didn’t mean to—I just found the first ship I—”

“Today, Lazuli. And state your name,” Agate says, her tone tired but isn’t less accusatory than before. Agate lifts her hand over the keys, waiting for an answer. Her name. What was her name.

“I—I’ve been trapped on earth this whole time I—my name is Lapis Lazuli. F-facet 1B3D, Cut 4IX.” Lapis doesn’t remember it, but it somehow leaves her mouth. Agate types it as she speaks, bringing up writing she barely understands of what she sees from the screen’s angle.

“Blue Diamond’s Court…” So she does still have a place here. Lapis feels the first bit relieved since Steven listened to her, sorry she couldn’t thank him for it. “It seems you’ve been reported missing since—” Agate’s head rears back and snaps to Lapis once she catches a particular line. Agate takes a step away from the computer and with a flash there’s a rapier in her hand. She turns it so its point rests on the ground in front of her, threatening to move at any moment. “How is it you managed to escape that planet unscathed after all these years, hm? Why have you shown up on Yellow Diamond’s doorstep now?”

The entire port is colder than space itself and Lapis feels something in her drop. Lapis salutes as fast she can, trembling with such intensity it’s a wonder she hasn’t fallen over. Even her voice trembles, but she knows she can’t afford to wait until it passes. “Please, I’m not a  _Crystal Gem!_ ” She spits those last words, as scornful as she can to override the desperation. It gives her enough energy that the next thing she says is easier to say. “I was held hostage by them! Someone set me free, I’m still loyal to my Diamond!”

Agate watches Lapis tremble before letting out a silent sniff, turning to the screen with cold apathy. “Benitoite will be the judge of that.”

The name is new to her. Lapis struggles to say the name with her voice shaking so much. “Benitoite?”

Agate doesn’t turn her head, speaking with faint cheer for her plain accusation. “A new gem to the court, she’s very talented at catching  _liars._ ” The thought of being questioned of her loyalties strikes Lapis’s frustration, but knowing she has nothing to worry about calms her so that she isn’t a trembling mess, or less of one.  

It meant a promise to return to her original status, calming her enough to speak to Agate who stares intently at the screen. “Of course. Where do I?” She trails off when something Agate said earlier startles her. She doesn’t even notice the pause, hardly even recognizes Lapis as there anymore until she speaks again.

“I’ll have a Jasper escort you to Benitoite’s chamber.” Agate raises her voice to be heard through the entire port. “Which one of you is busy wasting your time?”

One of the Jaspers immediately pipes up, hand raising above the others in the small crowd closest to the controls. “I’ll go ma’am!”

“Very well. Dismissed.”

Lapis turns to see the Jasper that approaches her, the color of red clay with sandy stripes and hair, a faint smile that begs for her to remember but she can’t place what. “This way,” she says, voice gentle despite the formality, gesturing to the interior of the ship across the port. She guides Lapis across the crowd of gems and ships, checking to see if Lapis was still next to her periodically. The hallways are winding and confusing, but Jasper knows them well. Once they reach Benitoite’s quarters Jasper turns suddenly, dropping down to Lapis’s eye level. It feels like a small eternity as Jasper stares at Lapis quietly, as if she’s trying to do a Benitoite’s job.

“Is it really you? You were on earth this whole time?” Jasper asks, voice rasping with heartache threatening to crack her voice. It takes a second of looking at her before Lapis sees the stripe patterns line up with memories she almost forgot. Lapis inhales sharply, recognizing the quartz soldier as her old escort, the very one she lost on the battlefield thousands of years ago. The diamond on her uniform was blue, confirming any doubt. She made it out of there. 

The look on Lapis’s face and lack of words was enough of a reaction for Jasper. “I was worried this whole time, I’m so sorry I let that happen to you.”

Lapis shakes her head and backs up in disbelief, then scoffs as she brings her arms around Jasper into an embrace. “I shouldn’t have separated us.” She squeezes enough that Jasper caves and returns the hug. Her embrace is light, as if Lapis would fall into smoke if held too tight. After the long flight Lapis almost expects it too. “I’m glad to see a familiar face already.” A huge mistake on Lapis’s part—she silently thanks the stars that she paid for it rather than Jasper.

Jasper breaks the hug but she still reaches to hold Lapis’s hand. She’s eyeing Lapis as if she still can’t believe she’s there, and Lapis knows the look Jasper gets when she’s scared of something. It finally falls out, a nervousness to her tone Lapis hadn’t heard since they first met. “So you’re not, you know, a Crystal Gem?” 

The side eye look of disbelief Lapis gives her says enough. Sure it had been a while, but she expected different from this one. “ _No,_  they kept me trapped the whole time. They didn’t even try to let me out, someone else did.” 

Jasper speaks up but it’s not her escort. “Shouldn’t you be telling this to Benitoite?” Both turn to see another Jasper staring with thinly veiled disgust down the hall. Lapis steals her hand back as Jasper straightens up and quickly knocks the door.

“Benitoite, we have a reported defected Lapis Lazuli return to the ship. We need confirmation she’s still loyal to the Diamonds.”

The door opens to a gem that reaches Jasper’s shoulders, a stare to rival the other Jasper but with a subtle hint of humor. White gloves on pointed hands clasped together, wearing a much more ornate vest than Lapis, with a bright yellow diamond pin resting on the hairline of her temple.

“How interesting. Come in dear, you must have a lot to talk about.”

The inside of the room is darker than the rest of the ship, just enough that it took the glaring edge off. With a gesture with her wrists two chairs rose from the lime colored floor facing each other. “Sit dear, you look exhausted. Why have you returned after all these years?”

“I was trapped in a mirror, someone must have taken me as a Crystal Gem and I was abandoned when Homeworld fled Earth. I was separated from my Jasper, I fell and…” Benitoite waves for silence and gestures to the seat closer to Lapis. They sit as the weight of her exhaustion hits her with stings to her eyes. Benitoite watches her curiously, but makes no further comment. Lapis speaks again, but her voice strained as she stares at her skirt as it bunches from her fingers curling. “I never thought I’d get off that miserable planet. I… I thought I was going to spend eternity there.” 

Tears dot her skirt, Benitoite remaining quiet for a moment. “How did you escape?”

“A human let me out.”

Benitoite pauses again. “A Steven?”

“Yes. He helped me leave Earth. He calls himself a crystal gem but he let me go.”

“Curious.” Benitoite draws her hand up and with it a screen appears, looking at other notes. “Do you have the location of the base he was at?” Lapis nods, suddenly nervous. “That is very good news. Now, Lapis Lazuli, how were you felled?”

“My Jasper left my side in battle.” Lapis tenses and looks up, afraid of what happens if she doesn’t explain. “It was under my order, I thought I could run. There was another gem who needed help and I—I just wanted to help.”

“Jasper 2MC explained. Your tendency is you think you are capable to handle yourself in combat enough to escape danger so your assigned escort can help others for you against protocol. All these years taught you otherwise, I hope?” Lapis winces. She knows Jasper wouldn’t say it like that, but hearing Benitoite say it stings. She really should have stuck to the sidelines.

“It did.” Benitoite nods.

“Did your owner ask about any important Homeworld locations?” 

Lapis doesn’t know why but her cheeks and hands burn at the way Benitoite says it. She lets out a tut and sighs to brush it off, looking over. “No. All she ever asked was for her favorite facet, or for some ideal view of Homeworld.”

“Did she discuss any battle tactics with the others in your presence?”

“No. She was only interested in scenery or reminiscing in some old memory.”

“Did any of these memories contain sensitive information?”

“No, they didn’t.”

“Do you intend to threaten the safety of Homeworld with your return?” It seems an awfully plain question to ask, but Lapis answers honestly. 

“No.”

She turns to stare Lapis straight in the eye. “Are you still loyal to your Diamond, the Great and Merciful Blue Diamond?”

“Yes. All I’ve wanted to do is be able to see her Radiance again to serve her.”

Benitoite smiles at that, but it’s a warm smile. She turns to the screen next to her and looks over the display. “Most of my guests give me a hard time but you are very eager to be back I see. It might take some time since Blue Diamond isn’t in this solar system currently, but I will send in a report for your reintroduction to her Court.” Lapis slumps from the relief. “In the meantime you may stay here with an escort. One of our kindergarteners might need to speak to you, but other than that you may do as you please that doesn’t disturb the Valiant Yellow Diamond.” Benitoite stands, screen dissolving as she does. “You may go. Dismissed.”

“Thank you,” Lapis says as she stands. Benitoite nods, turning to go into a further chamber. Lapis doesn’t realize she’s crying again, only finding out after she opens the door to a concerned Jasper hovering over her.

“Lapis! What happened?”

Lapis brushes a palm up her face before deciding a hug was more important than getting rid of the tears still running down her face. “I’m reintegrating. I’m back again.” Her voice is warped and cracked, sliding between pitches as she spoke.

“All right! That’s awesome!” Jasper’s voice creaks but hers is more jovial at the news. Jasper ruffles Lapis’s hair, any sense of worry or formality shoved aside for a big grin.

“Oh, I want to make it all the same again.” She knows its impossible, but Lapis can dream of her old chambers and accomplishes as if nothing’s changed right? She tries to reminisce but she finds them hard to recall, and after a moment she recalls a much more recent memory. She pulls away, confused, and looks up to Jasper. “Is this really Yellow Diamond’s ship?

“Yeah.” Of all the places to land she had to end up here? “I’m supposed to be on an escort mission for a collaborative project but I had to know if you were really back.”

“That explains why you were missing from your post.” Lapis and Jasper jump at the new voice, Jasper saluting on impulse and Lapis clasping her hands together. A Tephroite stands at the end of the hallway, very agitated by the looks she’s giving Jasper before looking at Lapis. “I can’t dream why you would want an escort back who lost you for as long as this one and then goes on to abandon her post. Oh stars, please tell me you can get me back to my station in once piece.” 

“Yes ma’am, you have my word. I just need to find Lapis her own escort and—”

“Oh that won’t be necessary. I had one Jasper follow me here who explained everything.” 

Jasper makes the “oh” expression but doesn’t say it, flattening it into a line as the other Jasper steps from behind Tephroite, half obscured by the bend in the hallway. Lapis tenses but hides her embarrassment from earlier, instantly pinning her as the one that interrupted earlier. She looks down with contempt at Lapis, the feeling entirely mutual at the thought of having her as an escort for any length of time. Lapis counts herself lucky this one has a yellow insignia. She doesn’t want to spend more time here than necessary. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow this took forever to get to but it's finally here! Chapter 1 of the reboot I mentioned from DWM (now discontinued). This reboot will include a few different elements from canon, but will try to follow as closely as plausible before taking its own direction. This could technically be called a prologue and questions in this chapter will be answered later. I would go on, but it's late and I have class early tomorrow! Goodnight. 
> 
> Critique is generally open so long as it's constructive.
> 
> I forgot to mention I'll also be adding music suggestions for each chapter! This one is [Naturae by Mr. Roy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UqAf4yyAsFw)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **CONTENT WARNING: delusions/unreality** for the beginning of the chapter.

Lapis flinches before she wakes, the jolt when she does wake lifting her up. She doesn’t remember passing out, she has to stop Jasper from escaping the ocean, how could she possibly faint at such a time? She’s scrambling to rise but fails to get any traction against tiny invisible spikes on the ground that itch at her hands.Everything is blurry, why can’t she see?

“Lapis… You’re awake!” That voice freezes Lapis so that she falls to the scratchy ground, turning in the direction of it until her eyes clear and adjust to the dim light. Her first guess at the unbelievable, Steven, and he’s looking very tired wiping at his eye. Disheveled hair, slouched over, unusually comfortable for being at the bottom of the ocean. The water is impossibly thin and still. “It’s okay, you’re in the barn outside of town. It’s just us for now.” 

That doesn’t sound right at all, she’s supposed to be with Jasper. Lapis shakes her head, her shakes growing more vigorous until she grabs her face and looks down at her knees in horror. She’s dreaming, there’s no other explanation for him being here. The edges of her vision blur as she tries to wake up again, fighting a wall she can’t push through. “No, no,  _no!_  This isn’t real, I have to wake up before Jasper—”

Steven sounds much more awake now, the clarity in his voice focusing her vision so she can see herself tremble. Horror grips her as he confirms her fears. “Jasper isn’t here. The others separated you two and she fell back into the sea.” It almost convinces her she’s really where he says she is, at this moment, but if it’s true that means—

Lapis looks at Steven and freezes, the suddenness of her movement startling him, regret stinging over alarming him but she has to be sure. It takes her a minute to process what he says. She’s not with Jasper anymore? “She’s still  _out there?_ ” Lapis blurts, voice unusually loud. This won’t do at all. “I have to stop her,” Lapis wails, turning. There’s something small and white on the floor that kept her from gaining traction. Rolling up helps, wings spreading before she fully stands.

“Lapis wait.” Lapis freezes at his voice again as he ducks under a wing, turning look at him when he places a hand on her arm. “You’ve done more than enough. The others are looking for her right now, everyone thinks adding you into the search will… complicate things.”

Lapis makes a pleading face for a second before looking away. She didn’t think how things could go wrong; he’s right and there’s not a thing she can do. Her wings fold in, and Lapis lowers to the ground and looks out of the hole leading to the sky, a freedom she can’t seem to reach. A realization hits her, and it hurts enough to turn her sights down with a pained sigh. “I can’t go back to Homeworld,” she says.

“Why not?” 

“It doesn’t matter who I was, I was outcast when I got back the first time. They’ll find out what I did and I won’t reintegrate again.” The last part shakes her voice, tears threatening on the edge of her vision but she really doesn’t want to cry in front of Steven. The emptiness of space is deafening without a star map.

“It’ll be okay. Who told you that?” Lapis finds it really hard to believe Steven was ever a Crystal Gem, with how little he knows. 

“There are some things I don’t need to be told to know, Steven.” Even with her gentle tone that earns her silence. 

She doesn’t notice him thinking, not until he claps his hands together and looks up at her with so much pride he may as well have found a new colony himself. “I know! You can stay here on earth!” 

Lapis stares at him for a second then snorts, no humor in it but disbelief. “You want me to stay here while Jasper’s out there?” 

“There’s lots of places to live on earth, you don’t have to worry. We’ll find Jasper so you can enjoy it here.” 

She squirms under his gaze, not convinced at all to stay on this terrible rock. Lapis may not know earth that well, but she was here long enough to know the ocean is a large, intricate place to hide. There’s no way this will work, but she can’t say no to that face, not after all he’s done. “I guess so.” She really doesn’t. 

“That’s great! I only know the local regions around here but I have a global positioning system on my phone. I can show you the east coast!” 

“Oh, okay,” she says, not sure what else to say. There were a lot of cities she saw flying away from the planet, she could use the help if she was staying here. She motions for Steven to get on her back and he climbs on, her arms looping around his legs so he doesn’t fall when she stands. Taking off is much easier outside where the wind whips around them. “Is this okay?” she asks, spreading her wings out behind her. 

Steven lets out a whoa in a way that says he’s alright. “Yup! Let’s go Joe!” 

“My name’s Lapis.” 

* * *

The sun rises from where Steven and Lapis left the galaxy warp at dawn but Lapis still feels cold. None of the places she saw seemed promising. Too dreary, too crowded, all she wants to do presently is curl into a ball away from the world. Instead its her throat that curls into a knot, head snapping down to blink away the blur clouding her vision. “I can’t do this,” Lapis says.

She feels Steven crouch forward to hear over the wind, and for a moment she fears retaliation. “What’s wrong?” For some reason that question gives her a burst of energy, anger and frustration giving her a scoff and a smile before contorting to confusion but she doesn’t know why. There’s no reason she should hesitate to answer. 

“I can’t stay on earth. I just can’t!” Her hands fling up in frustration, and after the wind catches them she holds them close again. “I’ve been trapped here long enough. I can’t take it any longer.” She focuses on the approaching shore avoiding the inevitable argument. 

“Lapis...” Maybe this time she’ll at least get something that speaks. “Nobody’s trapping you here.” 

“But Jasper—” 

“Nope! That’s not your problem now. The Crystal Gems will handle Jasper, it’s our duty to protect the citizens of the earth. That includes you now, if you stay.” Protection from the most powerful soldier in Yellow Diamond’s court after being at her mercy for months. The offer sounds too good, even from Steven. It sounds really good until Lapis remembers who the Crystal Gems are. 

“But I’m still on earth.” Surely that’s a good enough reason besides mentioning she hates the rest of Steven’s family. She starts to descend once the temple is closer on the horizon, spotting the barn across the valley. 

Steven pauses. “Okay, I see where you’re coming from, but nothing is really still on earth.” Lapis surveys the visible land, just now taking note of how different the world looked than when she first arrived. “You don’t have to be the same while you’re here, everything changes. The sky changes every day, the leaves every season, even the people you care about change. You may be on earth still, but what that means is up to you.” The sentiment is nice but she hardly finds herself with many other options. “This isn’t the world that trapped you here anymore, it’s a lot different now. No mirror, no fusion, just you and some time to enjoy.” Lapis looks down, appreciating the timing to focus solely on landing. The ground is spiky and cold under her feet. 

Lapis still looks for find an answer as Steven steps down and she stares at the horizon they just crossed, can’t bother to stand from her crouch while still in thought. Whatever crosses her mind disappears as Steven steps into her view and holds out the leaf that fell in his hair from the start of their tour. There are lines crossing it she didn’t notice during the flyby. He’s twirling it between his fingers, showing off the colors on each side. “This leaf used to be green, but now it’s orange. Everyone loves watching them turn colors, some even collect them as they turn.” He hands her the leaf, the small red gradient emerging from its center more apparent up close. “You would enjoy it Lapis, if you decide to stay.” 

Lapis stares at the leaf expectantly, waiting for it to answer before turning up to Steven when there was none. He’s making a face again, one she can’t say no to, one that makes her shut her eyes and sigh defeat. “Okay. I’ll give it a try.” 

Steven’s already bouncing on his toes and hops over to hug her, careful to not crush her new gift. “It’s great that you’re going to stay Lapis! Now we can be beach summer fun buddies all the time!” His enthusiasm turns her grimace to a pained smile, wishing to herself she could join in his enthusiasm but it isn’t there. 

He backs away when voices call in the distance. Lapis backs up a few feet at the sight of the gems. “Steven! There you are!” Whatever smile she had turns to a silent scowl at the Pearl’s voice. 

“Hey guys! Lapis is awake! She’s decided to stay!” She really wishes he hadn’t announced that just as they appear. They read her face and the results are as mixed as they can be.

“Oh, she has?” The only satisfaction out of that was the concern in Pearl’s voice.

“You’re gonna have tons of fun here.” That sounded like sarcasm, but it’s hard to tell with Amethyst. 

“Welcome to the team, Lapis.” 

Lapis silently scoffs and folds her arms at that. “I will not be called a Crystal Gem.” 

“You don’t have to be a Crystal Gem to be a member of the team.” Garnet folds her arms and raises a hand to her chin. “The team is more of a family.” 

As if she would ever be family with these lawless traitors. Lapis tenses and backs away more, wanting some sort of out from this. “Steven,” she pleads, trying to catch his gaze. He turns to her and frowns at her composure. “I can’t stay with them.” 

He seems to understand and gives her a sympathetic smile, but it’s obvious he’s a little disappointed in her response. “That’s okay, you can stay here at the barn.” 

“I suppose the barn does have space for two.” Lapis’s eyes widen as she notices the extra party member. She was silent upon arrival and Lapis was too focused on her other grudge to even notice. Her anger shifts to the kindergartener, but it’s a different kind of anger for a different offense. 

“You,” Lapis snarls. Peridot points at herself nonchalantly and raises her brows, bored as if Lapis doesn’t look ready to strangle her. “What’re you doing here?” 

“I’m basically a Crystal Gem now, I helped save the planet.” She’s smug, daring Lapis to do something about it. Annoyance radiates from the Crystal Gems, for once Lapis can see their point of view. “And I’m staying in there.” Peridot points with her thumb at the barn. 

Steven cuts in before Lapis can respond. While Peridot doesn’t, Steven notices how tense Lapis is. “Are you sure you don’t want to stay at the temple? It’s where all the other Crystal Gems are staying. We’ll be an even better team than before!” He uses the tone that could convince Lapis of just about anything, but Peridot crosses her arms. 

“I like it here,” she says curtly. The gems including Steven wince knowing this is not going to blow over smoothly, Lapis is going to make sure just for that attitude to Steven. 

Garnet straightens up and looks at some point past Lapis. “Would you look at that, Greg needs help packing the rest of his things. You gems have fun.” 

Garnet starts for where she’s looking and Pearl and Amethyst follow. Lapis turns to watch them and sees a human struggling to put something in a box she didn’t notice in landing. He sees her staring and smiles nervously as the gems arrive to help. He was with the gems during the fight, clearly showing no more interest in hostilities. In fact the lot of them seemed to be ignoring the three, so Lapis turns back to Peridot. 

“This isn’t going to work. Steven said I’m staying here.” 

Peridot scoffs at Lapis, rolling her eyes. “I’m sorry you can’t get the same quarters a Blue Lapis Lazuli on Homeworld such as yourself deserves, but we’re on earth now. The rules of operation are different here and I have just as much say as you.” She’s been waiting a long time to talk to a superior like that it’s almost embarrassing. 

“Blue Lapis?” Steven asks. “I thought all Lapis would be blue.” He looks at Peridot with confusion until Lapis explains.

“I’m from Blue Diamond’s Court,” Lapis says quickly, touching the insignia on her vest. “And I don’t care about Homeworld rules—” as if she can afford to anymore she thinks, turning to Peridot “—what I want is nothing to do with you or the ones responsible for me being stuck here!” 

“Why am I being held to the same accountability as my superiors? I was just following orders.” Peridot frowns and holds her hands out, waiting for an answer. It’s infuriating really, not even a common gem would deserve this sort of disrespect but Peridot is clueless and unshaken. 

Maybe she needs to be walked through. “Did you fight them?”

Peridot’s eyes roll. “You don’t fight your Yellow superiors.” 

The patience that was there is gone. “Then you’re the same as them,” Lapis says, voice raising in a guttural yell. 

Peridot scoffs at that and points at Lapis, standing to her full height as if it makes a difference to what she wants to say. Steven’s about to say something but Peridot’s quicker. “You’ve got a lot of nerve using your emotions to place judgement in a Court you don’t even know! You arrived at Yellow Diamond’s ship and you weren’t even doing anything when you were called to this assignment! What do you expect coming back from earth as all places as a defunct gem?” 

There’s a lot of ways to answer that question but Lapis can only manage one through the fury. “I just wanted to go home!” 

Peridot rolls her eyes again and places her hands to her chest, using them to articulate a picture Lapis can’t see. “My condolences, your _brilliancy_ —” she says it with disgust, Lapis notes “—but neither of us are getting that, so for now we’ll both have to make due!” Peridot gestures to the barn on cue. 

“Guys please, I’m sure there’s something we can come to an agreement on if we just slow down and—” Lapis shoots up into the sky and lands on the tower near the barn. “—talk.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An odd place to end, but I wanted to keep this chapter short and there was a POV change due. 
> 
> Suggested soundtrack: [Underfoot by Erik Scheele](https://youtu.be/vosxBpknKw0)


	3. Chapter 3

“Peridot, don’t you think you’re being a bit harsh on Lapis?” Steven asks. He places his hands on his hips, bunching into fists in mild frustration. Peridot never notices those emotional details, she’s already turned away to observe the barn she’s convinced she owns. It’s not a big surprise but Steven was hoping for something better. This would be easier if the conversation went smoother. 

“Hardly. I was already going to stay here, I offered her an option better than the temple she hates.” Peridot turns at him and gestures to the barn with a shrug. “I don’t see why I should have to give up the whole barn to her, she hasn’t done anything of note to earn it.” Steven caught her up on what happened, but it was easy to forget after the Cluster became an immediate priority after. 

Steven raises his hands to pause her train of thought. “I have to stop you there Peridot. Lapis fought Jasper for months as a fusion. She’s really exhausted and needs a little room to breathe. If it weren’t for her Jasper could’ve stopped us from stopping the Cluster.” 

It almost seemed like Malachite had them, a few encounters. It wasn’t great Lapis exhausted herself like that, but once she lost consciousness it was much easier to rally them in for a final fight. The Crystal Gems knew how to pull someone in when they were trying to kill them, a confused enemy who runs away when overloaded was tricky. 

Peridot holds her chin and squints at the scenery. “I suppose I can see the logic in that. Huh. If only Blue gems used an ounce of reason rather than let their emotions decide everything for them, we might actually agree on something.” 

Steven fights back a sigh, arms falling limp. “Do the different courts always feud over this sort of thing? Logic and emotion?” It hardly makes any sense, if they were all Homeworld gems, but it’s not like the others gave Steven an idea of what it was like. 

Peridot starts on one of her rants using entirely hand gestures, the words just for show. “Not necessarily. It’s just the Blue and Yellow Courts that are sometimes at odds. We are gems of logic, precision, and accuracy. While they are... emotional visionaries with lacking evidence to their claims of grandeur.” Her entire form clenches at that, as if Lapis is where she glares. 

Steven really wants to ask more, but figures he better settle this smaller feud between the two gems in front of him. They’re not their court colors, they can definitely get along and he won’t give up until there’s a solution. There’s a way to get to Peridot so she can set aside their differences. “Okay, but emotions are important to Lapis after what she’s been through. And since you said we’re not using Homeworld rules now, isn’t your argument...” Peridot is giving him a look, knowing she won’t like the end, “ _illogical?_ ” 

Peridot glares at Steven, folds her arms and curls her lip as if she smelled something out of the dark corners of Amethyst’s room. She holds her head up and pauses for a long time before answering. “I suppose so.” 

Steven points at the barn with his thumb. “If you want to get along in the barn, wouldn’t meeting her halfway make more sense?”

Peridot blinks away her frustration into exhaustion and lets out a pained groan at the sky. “I can’t believe you’ve bested me at wits.” She favors glaring at the countryside again. “Fine, I will try to meet her halfway. How do I do that?” She looks back at him expectantly, because this was his idea, and every idea he has needs to follow reasonable steps for her to comply. 

“You have to show her your sweet side.” Peridot raises her eyebrows at him as if he joked. “I know you have one, you just have to show that you think her emotions are reasonable and present her a gift as a sign of peace.” 

“Very well.”

“Great! Let’s try a card. A message is the easiest way to show how you feel. There’s some paper over there.” 

* * *

The tower shines bright from the sun behind it as Steven and Peridot approach it. Peridot has a surprisingly loud voice when she wants to, calling up to the top. “Hey Lazuli! Hey Lazuli! Hey!” Peridot is met with silence. She turns to Steven, who’s just as clueless.“Why isn’t she responding?”

“I thought she was up there.” Steven cups his mouth and shouts at the top. “Lapis! Are you up there?” Lapis pokes her head over the edge, fully alert. “We have something for you.” For a second Lapis disappears over the top and then appears again, floating down closer to Steven. 

“That’s nice of you, Steven,” Lapis says. She isn’t addressing Peridot at all. 

If Steven didn’t know any better he’d say this was going poorly. Steven gestures to Peridot, sure of their idea. “Both Peridot and I made this for you.” It’s slightly crumpled from Peridot pinching the edge, but it’s a readable card they made in the barn. Pen and crown decorate the outside, blue and green to the closest colors they could find and red to symbolize the barn as their knew home. Inside was the note in what Peridot calls Minersiet, the script from Homeworld. It was something Steven was going to have to ask about later. 

“Steven drew the outside. I wrote the inside,” Peridot explains, handing it to Lapis. 

The paper wrinkles as Lapis opens it and reads the message out loud. “Sorry I interrogated you. You were the only useful source of information. I won’t insult you because of your Court color anymore. Your anger has some reasoning behind it. Peridot.” 

There’s a moment of silence as Lapis stares at the paper in blank disbelief. She snorts, it’s the kind trying to hide frustration and disbelief. It snaps Steven out of his own surprise. “That’s what you wrote?” Steven asks, turning to Peridot. 

“You told me to be sincere!” Peridot shoots back. Lapis flies up again with an irritated chuckle and leaves the note floating down to Peridot’s feet. 

Peridot lets out a series of growls as she goes on a gesture tirade again, turns and marches to the barn. Velcro hisses as she rips the recorder from its belt, clicking on once Steven reaches her. “The noses! One can only conclude that her refusal was from the lack of noses! The writing elements made perfect since. It took over an hour to compose and I was the sincerest per Steven’s instructions.” 

All right, so Peridot has a lot more work to do than expected. “Peridot, I think you missed a big element that’s part of an apology.” 

Peridot turns to Steven, nearly flinging her recorder away when she throws her hands toward the ceiling. “What did I miss? I was completely sincere when I wrote it!” 

“Yeah but you called her useful. Isn’t that sorta why she’s mad now?” Peridot shoots Steven an incredulous look, shoulders giving a shake to throw off the anger. 

“I don’t get it, what does she _want_ out of all of this?” 

Steven runs his hands over his mouth to calm his frustration. He really likes Peridot but she can be difficult with the softer side of things. And really, the noses? Even he knew Lapis didn’t have a problem until she opened the letter. “Let’s try this one more time. An apology is recognizing you did something wrong. You shouldn’t have taken Lapis hostage, that’s why she’s upset. So, let’s try giving her a gift and not bring up how useful she was. In fact, that’s what you should apologize for.” 

Peridot scoffs and rolls her eyes at Steven. “I didn’t take her hostage, I simply brought her with me because I needed an informant.” She tuts and inhales, a sign she’s almost done trying. Her hands fly out to her sides but lower, accepting another attempt through her confusion. “Why do I feel like I’m taking the blame for this?” 

“Peridot, that’s what an apology is. You never gave Lapis the choice of coming along, so she feels like you took her hostage. It’s how she ended up trapped at the bottom of the ocean, because you _made_ her tag along to earth.”

“ _I_ didn’t put her in there, she’s the one who fused with Jasper.” It’s a really good thing Lapis isn’t here.

“You weren’t there. Jasper could have hurt her if she said no. She wouldn’t be anywhere near Jasper if you hadn’t taken her along, so she sees you as part of the reason she’s hurt.” 

“Are all earth gems this driven by your emotions?” Peridot paused, looking away to connect the dots. Slumped shoulders means she’s got it. “I suppose being a catalyst to her unfortunate situation with Jasper is cause for frustration, even if I wasn’t at fault for that particular event. Very well, I’ll try this again.” 

“Great. Now, we’ll try another way, but try to be nicer to her? Try to think of things she likes. We have to figure out a better present.” 

“Things she likes?” The confusion is wiped away from Peridot’s face and her eyes are sharp with thoughts again. “From what I understand Lapis Lazulis are typically partial to water and flying. I’m not sure I have anything to go with those.” 

Steven cups his chin and lets his sights wander as he thinks. He notes the hole from where they drilled into the earth and starts to formulate a plan. “Hm. Water. I think you _do_ have something.”

* * *

Lapis flies down immediately when Steven calls for her. She seems peppier, but there’s something visibly bothering her. “Steven! I’m glad you’re here. I wanted to talk about finding somewhere else to stay.” Okay, things are _not_ going as well as they could be. 

“I don’t think you should give up just yet.” Steven threads his fingers together behind his head, tilting it towards the barn. Lapis tilts too, but she doesn’t pick up anything. “We have one more thing for you. Cover your eyes.” 

She blinks at him, surprised, but she doesn’t argue. “Oh. Okay.” Her wings unfurl, smaller than their usual size, and cup around her face. She takes Steven’s hand and follows with little protest.

Steven checks to see her eyes are open and he can’t help but ask. “Can you see through those?”

Lapis hums. “Yes, but it’s very blurry. You look like a pink cloud.”

“Aw Lapis, that’s cheating.” She frowns and by the looks of it shuts her eyes tight under her wings. It’s enough to make Steven laugh a little over her sincerity. “It’s okay, we’re here,” he says, stopping in front of the barn. Her wings fold and she sees Peridot floating on a tire in a larger circular body of water. The seal is a little hasty, but it’s hard to tell from the rippled water when Peridot kicks the tire at Lapis’s presence. 

“H2-oh my gosh. It’s a smaller than average lake.” A little practice and Peridot can match both the slang and enthusiasm as Amethyst, but not this time. 

Steven turns to Lapis to explain. “It’s from the hole we drilled to find the cluster. Peridot and I sealed it and filled it with water.” From the raised eyebrows and sullen look on Lapis’s face it was sure to be a success. 

Peridot takes Lapis’s silence as cue to start. “Going near the ocean is dangerous with Jasper out there, so we made this reservoir so you can have fun without worrying.” 

“Seriously?” She’s already blown away.

Peridot perks up, excited to see their plan work this time. Steven is glad to see her happy, all she needed to do was find the middle ground. “Entirely! We started off on bad terms, I’m offering this as an expression of friendship. With it I—”

“If we were friends, you would know water is the last thing I want to be around right now.” Steven’s stomach drops as Lapis’s expression changes from melancholy to irritation. He already knows where this is going and this is not going to end well.

“Huh?” It’s all Peridot can say. All that reasoning pulled out from under her like a slippery rug. 

“I don’t like water right now,” Lapis says through strained teeth, turning away to hide what looks like shame. 

“Oh. I thought—”

“No, you didn’t.” Peridot’s mouth shuts when Lapis snaps her attention back at the floating gem and Steven’s jaw drops. Part of that should have been towards him, but she’s not stopping. “I just got away from the _worst_ gem Homeworld has to offer and what kept me stuck with her? The _ocean._ _Water_. She’s all I can think of when I’m around it! And now you put it here where I wanted to get away from that!” Lapis pauses out of frustration, a jeering sigh enough to collect her. She folds her arms but her tone doesn’t back down. “What is the _point_ of this? What are you trying to _do?_ ” 

Another chance to try again. Peridot sits upright with a pointed finger. “The point is, I was trying to apologize. A gift to show my sincerity and that I was wrong to—”

“You’ve done enough! I don’t want an apology, that’s not going to fix things.”

Peridot paddles to the edge near Lapis and places a hand on the ground to steady herself. She looks up, in that way that hides her own frustration. “Then what _will?_ I’m doing the best I can here but I don’t understand what you want. Declare what you require for a proper apology and I’ll meet those demands.” That was the best idea Steven heard for an apology gift all day. It brightens his hopes, which unfortunately fades as he sees Lapis as still as stone. 

“I want you to leave me alone,” Lapis says, grim and barely above a murmur. 

Peridot is quiet in her response. “What?”

“I want you to leave!” Lapis snaps, voice raising. This was not in the plan. He’s starting to wonder if they’ll ever get along. 

Peridot pushes away from Lapis with a sigh, paddling to the side opposite of the pool. She struggles a bit to get out of the tire and once she’s up looks over her shoulder. “Okay.” She starts for the town without her usual protest. 

It wasn’t the agreement he hoped for, but they did make an agreement. Steven calls out, “See you at the temple Peridot.” He winces before looking at Lapis. “Lapis, I’m sorry about this.” He waves his hand towards the pool. 

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Steven.”

Steven winces, remembering what Lapis said to Peridot. “No, this one was my idea.” She frowns at him but there’s no anger like there was at Peridot. She’s really patient, but she’s not willing to give any of that away easily. None of that really factored into his great plan for everyone to get along. “We didn’t mean for this to happen, Peridot just wanted to prove she could be a good roommate. 

“Then she can prove it somewhere else. Why do you trust her?” Lapis gives him an uncertain look, like she’s expecting a scolding. Steven turns to see Peridot disappear over the hills.

“I got to see her improve myself. The first time we talked she tried to smash me, but now we helped save the earth together. She can help you too, if you want.”

“What use is she to me besides staying away?” She’s looking off to where Peridot was, hard set on her judgement and gaze. 

Steven looks around again, noting the terrible state of the barn. Dad took it well, but it was still in an awful state of disrepair. If Lapis was staying in it, Steven may just have a plan that repairs everything. “The barn’s got some fixing up to do and you can invite her over and see how it goes. Look, she’s back already!” They hear her scream before she’s visible, wild panic in her eyes once she’s closer, nothing like her calculated demeanor. 

“They’re here!” she cries, the only thing she says before continuing her beeline to the barn. 

“What was that about?” Steven says, right before they see what she ran from. A large ship flies over the horizon, the shape of a short rocket he’s seen from text books and competitions. None of those had moving eyes though, or five that focused down on them from the sky that send fear into his gut. 

Lapis doesn’t wait for anything to happen, grabbing Steven before he can react and runs to the barn as well. Wiggling free is easy, she’s more focused on the glow of light passing through the beams to carry him anymore. 

“What was that thing?” Steven whispers. Peridot is also tracking the light, trembling like a leaf. 

“It’s a roaming eye, a tracking vessel. It’s official, I’m public enemy number one!” Peridot cries as quietly as possible, grabbing her hair in defeat. 

“And I was seen with you. Great.” 

“ _Lapis_ ,” Steven reproaches. She turns away, taking the hint. 

The warm light flashes over them an instant later, the hole in the ceiling blowing their cover. For a second everyone freezes, then Peridot is the first to bolt out of the barn. Steven follows with Lapis close behind. They don’t stop when it starts for them again, not until it’s right over them and overtakes their path. 

“This is it, Steven. This is the price I pay for outwitting the best,” Peridot laments, grabbing Steven’s shoulder. 

“It’s okay, we can take them together!” Steven assures her. 

The sound of bubbling water turns their attention behind. The pool they made earlier is lifting from its container, shifting slowly until the form of a hand. Steven sees Lapis concentrating, a pained look on her face with her hand trembling. The eyes on the ship shift to the hand, accelerating towards it. 

Lapis jolts and throws her hand out with a flick, the water doing the same. The ship corkscrews backwards, mist falling over Steven and Peridot. Before it can still Lapis lifts the hand again, swatting down from the wrist. The ship plummets to the earth, catching a rock that sends it cartwheeling a ways and stopping. 

In the distance Steven can faintly hear Pearl call, “Steven!” 

“Holy... smokes,” Peridot says, staring towards the ship down the hill. It has a brand new scratch across it where it dashed the rock. 

The gems appear from the direction of town and Pearl cries out again. “Steven! Are you okay? We saw the ship and came as fast as we could.” They keep running but stop when Steven raises his hand in greeting then points to where the ship stopped. 

“Holy smokes,” Amethyst remarks. 

“We’re okay. Lapis, you did great.” Steven turns to Lapis to congratulate her, seeing she’s further back than when the ship came for them. Still staying far away from the team, but after that even Steven’s feeling a little jumpy. 

“Lapis did that? Impressive,” Garnet says. 

“Wow, Homeworld really has it out for Peri,” Amethyst says, looking smug at the green gem. 

Peridot’s face turns dark green and glares at her. “Don’t say it.”

Amethyst smiles at her for a few moments longer before saying it. “You’re a wanted Crystal Gem!” Peridot lets out a howl of frustration as Amethyst laughs at her. 

Past Peridot Steven notices Lapis trembling and staring where the ship crashed. “Lapis?” Steven asks, walking over to her. She grips the sides of her head and stares at the ship as if it were still coming after them. 

“I can’t believe I did that,” she says, low and hollow. 

Steven doesn’t get the chance to get a word in before she jolts over a faint noise. He turns to see the ship popped open. “Uh, guys?” he calls out. Whatever they were talking about stops when they see it. 

A hand reach out to the surface of the ship, lifting up a Ruby that turns in their direction. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had this half written already since the episode first aired and this was still a tricky chapter to write. 
> 
> Suggested soundtrack: [The Wheel by Griffin McElroy](https://griffinmcelroy.bandcamp.com/track/the-wheel)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a lot of lore revealed in this chapter, so please read the end notes before commenting! Thank you!

“You can’t go in there, that’s my home.”

“We’re on an important mission, and our scanners show that we need to check that barn!”

“No!” Steven’s eyes shoot down to the hickory stick in his hands. He can’t think of anything else, the kabocca his only hope of a shot of negotiating. “If you want to enter our home, you have to play us... in a game of ball.” Steven holds up the stick in his hands and points to where the ship crashed, the land more flat than where they stand and softer. He can’t remember how long it’s been since he played, it’s not popular around these parts.

“Ball?” Ruby looks at the field and then back at Steven. It’s unclear if she doesn’t understand the exact game or if earth slang is that foreign to her.

Steven grips the stick closer to himself, remembering what his dad told him. “It’s how we settle things without starting an all out battle. If you win, you can search the barn. If we win, you have to leave us alone _forever_.” The last word punches, but Ruby doesn’t seem to notice, or maybe care.

She glances at her teammates, all of them returning her gaze with different levels of curiosity. Looking back at him she’s speculative. “We don’t want any trouble. We’ll play ball.”

“I’ll gather everyone and get the supplies. Wait here okay?” Steven darts towards the barn without their own Ruby, hoping to himself he didn’t make a huge mistake choosing _that game of all the options there were_. Maybe knowing the game would give an advantage, but the gems hardly ever play. Maybe on the chance they lose Peridot can escape during the game, but they still have to worry about the scanners.

No time to worry about anything and everything. Steven skids to a stop at the barn entrance, trying to yell from the excitement, voice cracking from the shortness of breath. He hadn’t realized how close his heart was to jumping out of his chest until he catches his breath. “We... ooh—have to play ball!” Surprise dots everyone’s faces at the announcement.

“We’re playing stickball against a bunch of gems,” Amethyst says, slightly amused. She leans back, clearly interested in the chance for a show of strength.

“We can’t expect a fair fight if we’re posing as human,” Pearl says. Amethyst rolls her eyes.

“It’s okay, we’ll make up a rule that neither of us can use our gem or ‘human’ powers,” Steven says. “Lapis, can you play? We need all the members we can get.”

Lapis has a far off look in her eye, blinking the thought away before she slides down to the ground from her perch. She doesn’t look enthusiastic in the least, in fact she looks pained at the prospect of helping Peridot. “Sure,” she says flatly before making a face, obviously cutting herself off before she says something Steven won’t approve of.

“Good. Lapis? You won’t like this game so I’m putting you on defense. That means keep the ball away from the goalie and pass it as soon as you can. Sapphire, you’re our goalie. The rest of us will split into centers and shooters.”

“Steven, I think strategy would go a lot smoother if we knew how to play,” Pearl says with mild disdain. She never really paid much attention to it, but she knows enough that it’s rough. Possibly sounding casual to not freak out Lapis who already looks like she’s regretting it.

“I’ll explain it to everyone on the field. We have to look human so you’ll have to change your outfits first.”

The rules were simple, mainly because there are so little. They had to add a few to this game to make the playing field more even, it meant Lapis could handle getting involved and more importantly it meant keeping Steven alive. They didn’t bother finding a team symbol, especially considering the other team looked exactly alike and any difference was a clear enough sign. The hardest part was convincing Lapis not to wear puffy sleeves and instead to default to the double tank tops players often wore in these parts. After rummaging through the boxes swiftly they found a long sleeve shirt to fit, tight to avoid rips but the natural weight made up for the lack of bagginess.

Amethyst made her outfit with little fanfare, adding snags and tears from memorable games so the rubies knew her experience. Pearl spent some time to find the right style to tie a bandana over her forehead, opting for a tall band that covered just above her eyes and barely past her hairline.

Sapphire waits for everyone at the entrance, hair tied in a thick braid to avoid tangles. She holds several sticks in her arms that look ready to topple out of her hands, how she managed to get them all standing upright is a mystery. “Everyone ready?” she asks, a dedicated attempt to psych everyone up. It’s unusual from the voice of a sapphire, often monotone and confident. It half works, an enthusiastic thumbs up from Amethyst and Steven, the remaining reactions immediately diminishing. “Let’s show them what we’re made of!” A hoot and a holler come from Amethyst and Steven, and they all set for the open field.

* * *

 

“They’re gems!” The rubies exclaim in shock at Garnet’s reveal. All that effort to stay hidden, and those two blew it in their excitement over Amethyst’s winning hit. “Rubies? It’s payback time!” Lapis was already peeling away the lingering dread of close contact with soldiers, watching the two fuse makes her hands tremble so hard her stick falls out of her hands. This is the end.  **  
**

Garnet rolls up into a fighting stance with the other Crystal Gems quickly gathering around her. Lapis needs to run, she needs to get away, but her form is as stiff as that blasted mirror.

“Stop!” It’s Peridot’s voice from the direction of the barn. Everyone turns to see her running towards the gathering of gems, stopping in the middle of the opposing sides. “Your mission is to finish me, not them. Don’t hurt them.” It’s an astonishing amount of emotion for someone of her logistical stature. Her hands are at her side to protect the others, unable to create a full wall of protection but that doesn’t stop her from trying.

The Ruby fusion leans in, unfettered by Peridot’s newfound bravery. “You! Are you the peridot, assigned to the failed, earth mission?”

Peridot throws her shoulders up and looks away. The nervous laughter in her voice gives her away. “It’s not failed, it’s still a work in—”

Ruby doesn’t wait to catch her gaze again. “Where is Jasper?”

“I. You’re here for Jasper.” Her hands fold to her chest, no longer needing the show of wills.

“Correct. And the informant Lapis Lazuli.”

“Oh.” Peridot glances at Lapis, still not able to move, but that doesn’t stop her from giving a look that threatens “tell them and I’ll _kill you_ ” so clear even Peridot gets the message. “Um.” Peridot’s gaze swiftly finds the ground. “About that.”

Ruby let’s out a warning growl and leans in. “Tell us where they are!”

“Jupiter!” Steven points to the sky. “They’re on Jupiter. Or maybe the moons, they didn’t say.” Everyone freezes, the air dense with the obvious lie. The Ruby fusion turns to the sky, trying to find it despite the atmospheric distortion.

Ruby looks back at them, lifting their shoulders into a friendly shrug. “Why didn’t you say so?”

There’s instant relief from everyone, freed of their frozen tension. She unfuses into her team before they set out, one lingering behind. “Thank you,” she says, strained, before joining her teammates.

They watch the ship lift into the air, the smallest dot appearing above its center that whisks them away before anyone can blink. Peridot lets out an exasperated sigh, falling to her knees, slowly accepting a full face embrace of the ground face-down.

“Wow,” Amethyst says, staring off to where the ship disappeared, “Rubies are dumb.”

“It’s kind of cute, isn’t it?” Garnet says with a coy smile.

Amethyst chuckles at her and sits beside Peridot. She gives Peridot a look, laying down on the mechanic who lets out a tiny squeak at the sudden weight.

Steven looks at Pearl, focusing her concern to where Lapis is, curled into a ball with her head behind her arms that rest on her knees. It looks a lot like how she was when he visited her in dreams, towards the end. She’s visibly trembling as he approaches, grasping the roots of her hair in sloppy fists. “Lapis?” Steven asks, setting down his sticks near hers. On his knees he notices her mumbling, incoherent from her face covered, completely out of touch from the world. “Lapis,” he says a little louder, “Lapis can you hear me?”

The mumbling stops and she freezes, her leg twitching as she shifts. It seems to be all she can manage—he takes that as her response.

“Lapis it’s okay, the Rubies are gone and nothing bad is going to happen. We’re all okay.”

Her hands curl tighter around the back of her head, trying to shrink tighter. It’s not working like it did in the barn, she seems to be further away. There should be something he can say that would help, but his thoughts are coming up dry.

“You can take a peek, tell us what you see.” Steven turns to see Sapphire standing next him. He peeks behind to see Ruby staying behind with the others, all different levels of curious. Peridot looks as concerned as she is confused.

Steven turns back to Lapis, who’s now turned her head enough to view the scenery, her head still firmly shielded under her arms. She doesn’t say a thing, instead lowers a hand to the muddy ground they played on.

“That is grass,” Sapphire explains, soft in her tone. It hadn’t even occurred to Steven that Lapis might not know the names of anything on this planet that are second nature to all of them. Except maybe Peridot, who picked up a few things from their time working together. “Can you repeat that?”

“Grass,” Lapis repeats, tentative and low.

Steven looks to the edge of the forest, rising slow to not panic her. He told her what a leaf was right? If naming things somehow pulls her out of it, he has to find her the best leaf. The same kind from their flight earlier has got to remind her of the fun they had. He finds one still yellow on the forest floor next to a fallen fruit and returns back to the others carrying both.

“The sky,” Lapis says, another response to Sapphire’s questions.

Sapphire smiles at her. “Yes. Take a moment to feel the breeze, and the warmth from the sun.” Lapis looks away, blinking rapidly until she squints her eyes shut, still, letting out a deep breath. “Everything is okay.”

Steven tries not to stare, kneeling down to sit next to both of them again. “Lapis, I found you another leaf.” Steven hands out the leaf and burr, it’s enough that Lapis lifts her head to turn to him. She takes them in her hand and brings them close, still not speaking but the look in her eyes is thanks enough. She’s trembling again, too nervous to look in his general direction.

Steven turns to look behind again to see everyone staring at the sight. “Uh,” he says, realizing how much this might stress Lapis out, “can we have a minute?” Everyone turns away, suddenly aware of their ogling.

Ruby starts for the warp in an awkward, slow stride, Pearl following close behind with the same demeanor. Amethyst lifts herself off Peridot who is still and staring at the ground.

Steven turns to Sapphire as she gives his shoulder the gentlest squeeze, smiling at him with reassurance. She joins the rest towards the warp, holding hands but not fusing with her dearest Ruby.

Peridot ignores Steven’s request to leave, raising herself up to go stand by them, looking less confused, substituted for bewildered. She puts a hand on her hip, gesturing to the skid marks the ship created. “I assume your state had to do with the fusions we just witnessed.”

Lapis tenses and Steven turns to the gem behind him. “Peridot!” he scolds, but she raises her hand to make her case.

“I had no idea that whatever you went through, it causes you so much emotional pain it incapacitates you. I don’t understand your emotions, I really don’t, but I do understand that whatever happened to you was severe.” Peridot looks away, struggling to say the rest.

“I can see now why you think I had a part in it,” her voice is strained, but she tries to soften it, “so I think it might be best if you had the barn. If you hate me I can’t begin to calculate how much you hate the others.” Peridot sighs, folding her arms and giving Lapis a somber look. “I’m sorry about what happened, really.” Lapis shrinks back the slightest bit, staring at the scenery in the corner of her eye. Peridot turns to where the others had already gone, taking a tentative step towards the warp. “Of all the things you can find on earth, I hope it’s peace.”

She leaves them in the silence of the wind. Steven sits with Lapis for a while longer, contemplating the clouds changing above. “Hey Lapis?” Steven turns to Lapis. “Are you doing better?”

She looks at him, eyes clearer than they were before. After a moment she realizes she hasn’t responded then nods. “Yeah. Sorry.”

Steven pauses so he can think up a rhyme. “Don’t be sorry, Maurie.”

For the first time ever Lapis gives him a playful squint. It’s possibly the first time he ever saw her humorous, with the first time her face was hidden away. “Hey Zircon, what’s this?” It doesn’t rhyme at all, but it’s clearly a name of someone Lapis knew in her formative years and an attempt to run with the joke.

Steven laughs as she holds out the burr he handed her earlier. “Oh, that has a lot of names. It came from the same tree as the leaves I gave you. I thought you might like it, one of its names is space bugs!”

Lapis doesn’t seem any less confused. “What’s a tree? And a bug?”

“Oh.” So Sapphire knew. He catches himself before he offers to let Pearl teach her about earth. Dad is still terrified of her. “I know someone who can teach you about earth things.” He stands up and pats away the grass on his shorts. “You two might get along, she’s also super nice and smart.” Lapis doesn’t take that as a compliment. “But uh, let’s get you home first.”  

* * *

 

Home. From the dusty floors and large holes in the barn Lapis hardly considers this a shelter, let alone a home. There are tiny creatures that descend from the cracked ceiling on strings of silk that sometimes glitter when the sun meets the horizon. The structure creaks and groans at the touch of the wind, shifting the odd piles that lay at one corner. No one passed by save for the occasional flying creature, letting out different cries based on its general shape or color.

The others let her have the barn to subject herself to a new prison of isolated agony, she was just too stubborn to see it sooner. Lapis sits up from the couch, turning towards the town. She could try to mingle with the locals, find something to break her boredom, but the very thought of running into the rebels in town cut the thought deftly. The mystery piles seem much more interesting, especially when there’s something perched at the edge and very invested in biting into its contents.

Unable to resist the new development, Lapis leaves the couch readily to observe the critter. At her presence it dives into the pile, shaking for a moment before going still. It has to be a prey creature, she ponders, knowing of their skittish nature but still disappointed at its speedy departure.

The call is faint--Steven’s voice. “Hey Lapis! I brought a friend you should meet!”

The thought is nice coming from him, but given his choice of company her curiosity is tentative. She walks to the edge of the barn’s entrance, seeing him a ways away with a taller human.

Steven waves, Lapis waves, and the newcomer waves. Great start. Already better than the Crystal Gems by showing basic friendliness. They reach the barn, the stranger more reserved up close, clutching to the straps at her sides.

“Hey Lapis, this is my friend Connie. Connie, this is Lapis Lazuli, or Bob.” Steven gestures between the both of them, keeping the worst straight face.

Lapis snorts, turning to Connie. “Lapis will do.”

Connie sticks out her hand towards Lapis, smiling a nervous smile and grasping the bag on her shoulder firmly. “Hi, you’re the one learning about earth stuff right?” She sticks her hand out again with more emphasis. “This is a handshake, it’s a common human greeting.”

Lapis stares down at her hand again, assuming she’s meant to take hold. When she does Connie shakes their clasped hands up and down, firm but not aggressive. “Nice to meet you!” she says, smiling so bright her eyes squint shut. It’s clear she doesn’t know what to make of Lapis, but Lapis isn’t sure what to make of this stranger’s uncertain friendliness.

“Oh.” Lapis has forgotten just about all of her manners except that she’s supposed to reciprocate a kind greeting. “You too.” Monotone. Fantastic.

Connie breaks the hold, pushes the glasses on her face up and shifts her bag. “Is it okay if we come in? I have some books I want to show you.” Again the word nervous pops up in Lapis’s mind from the way she smiles and sways. She swears she’s seen this human before but doesn’t know why.

“Sure,” Lapis mumbles, moving out of the way for them both.

“We brought some stuff to make the barn feel a bit more homey,” Steven says, removing his own pack once they’re inside. “We have a tarp to cover the hole in the roof, and a hammock so you can sit real high, and we’re not sure what you like to do so we brought some art supplies.”

“This place is real beat up,” Connie interjects as she drops her own bag unceremoniously to the ground. Lapis looks away as if that helps the change of color on her face. “Are you sure I should leave the books here?” The barn was deemed Lapis’s now, and her responsibility, she can’t help but take credit for it even if she didn’t cause its disarray.

“The temple is fine between visits,” Steven says. Oh please no.

“Sorry about the mess,” Lapis says, bringing a hand to her mouth to ease the disgrace. In her own world the past few days she’s forgotten the dusty and rotting state of her new quarters.

Connie turns to Lapis, waving a hand. “Oh! Don’t worry about it. Peridot did a number on it and we never got to repairs because of the drill.”

So that little fiend was to blame. They both catch the look in her eye, turning to each other with an unreadable expression.

“This should help in the meantime,” Steven says, kneeling down to unzip the pack. He pulls out a large folded sheet with holes on the sides. “Lapis, are you okay with Peri coming by to help set this up? She’s better with a hammer than I am.”

“I—okay,” Lapis says, forcing back the strain in her voice.

Connie doesn’t wait for Lapis to imagine the worst of Peridot coming over. “I was so glad Steven told me you wanted to learn about earth, I can show you all subjects they teach in school! Do gems go to school or do you just know everything about being a gem? I heard a gem kindergarten is different than a human one.” Lapis turns to Connie. She’s kneeling over the pack she brought in, carefully thumbing through the contents inside. “There’s so much to learn, I don’t know where to start…”

“Is there any subject you want to learn first?” Connie asks, pulling out a book with the picture of the earth on it. “I have some pretty standard stuff: biology, algebra, history, classical literature, music theory... I’ll have to pick some of them up since the books are heavy.” She holds up the book so Lapis can see it clearer. “I recommend starting with geology! You can start learning how the earth itself works, I bet you’ve never seen anything like it!” She hands Lapis the book, folding her arms once they’re free as if to make herself small, almost afraid.

Lapis stares at the colorful images, unable to decide with the question at the front of her mind. “Do I know you from somewhere?” Lapis blurts the question, turning to Connie with undisguised confusion.

“Oh!” Connie’s caught off guard, raising her arms up, then hides the motion by folding her hair behind her ear. “Y-yeah actually. I was there when you tried to escape earth the first time.” Lapis remembers now: the two she tried to avoid fighting by pinning them down. They fell fast and couldn’t fight very well. She knew humans were frail, but not that much. Perhaps she doesn’t have to be afraid of this one.

“Oh, sorry you got caught up in that,” Lapis says, shielding herself with the book. Another question comes to her mind. “Why are you helping me, after that?” It would make sense to run away in terror, but here she is, offering the secrets of human knowledge.

“It’s okay, Steven explained everything to me.” Connie pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose, folding her arms more confidently. “You’re going to stay on earth, right? Steven said you might need a friend.” Lapis catches Steven’s eye where he sits on the tarp. He gives her a toothy smile with the confidence of absolute certainty before she looks back to Connie. “I’m no gem, but I’m sure we can find a lot in common! What did you do, while you were on Homeworld?”

Lapis trails the hard cover of the book Connie gave her, staring at its frayed corners. The answer reminds her of the woe of her reality. “I was a storyteller. As a Lapis Lazuli, it’s my duty to retain information of gem culture and teach it to newly made gems. I also made tales to please my Diamond.” And now she can never do it again.

“So you’re a storyteller? Like an author? That’s so cool! I love books!” Lapis looks up at Connie, then at Steven who’s now next to her. She has no idea what the correlation is, or what an author is even, but it must be different on earth. Their endearing curiosity pulls her out of despair if for a moment, they don’t even seem to notice. “Do you have a story you can share?”

Lapis turns away, embarrassed but she can’t place how. “Sorry, not right now.” It almost pains her to say it, given how nice they are. “Our stories rely heavily on visuals and I... can’t do that right now.” Don’t think about it. The book caves the slightest in her grip.

“That’s okay,” Steven says. He smiles at her, clearly hiding pain that he doesn’t get to hear about kindergarten tales. It’s amazing Pearl hasn’t said anything, with how much she talks.

“Yeah, we can get started with school!” Connie says. “We might have to bring some more stuff in if that’s okay Lapis.”

Lapis looks around the barn once and can already answer the question but asks anyways. “What’s missing?”

“Well, it’s not a school, but it would be easier to take notes with a table and some chairs.” So it was a different answer than Peridot’s awful influence. “And a desk to put these books so they won’t get wet. Wait...” Connie pauses and looks at Lapis, the worry in her eyes making the gem nervous. “Lapis, do you know how to read or write any earth language?”

“Uh,” Lapis mumbles, “no. Do I need to?”

“It will help with everything else,” Connie says. She puts a fist in her open palm, straightening up. “Okay, geology is second, we’re starting with English.” She blushes, turning away. “Sorry, I didn’t bring anything for this. We’ll have to start another day.” She seems so beat up about it Lapis feels guilty, so she doesn’t have to.  

“Sorry to put you through all this trouble,” Lapis says, handing the book back. It’s all she can manage to say.

“What? It’s not trouble! Do you know how hard it is to find someone who wants to learn about school?” Connie takes the book, lifting it to emphasize her words before setting it back into the bag. “There’s so much cool stuff you get to learn, education is important so you can figure out what you want to do. I’m sure we can help you find something to do while you’re on earth.” She zips it shut and stands tall for being so unsure of what she says.

“What is it you want to do?” Lapis asks, surprising herself with the question. It seems like too personal of a question to ask with how taken back she is.

Connie hides it with a feeble smile. “I still have time to figure it out,” she says. It’s unconvincing with that waiver in her voice.

Lapis knows what she wants to do. She wants to find the hottest star in this facet so she can drop Pearl into it. But that’s not on earth, she can’t answer with that. “We can both figure it out,” she says instead. She’s not sure if she addressed the true answer or not, with them both hiding something. Perhaps they do have a lot in common.

Connie seems to appreciate the answer regardless. “Yeah, we have all summer.” Connie blinks, then coughs into her fist, clearing her throat. She stands tall again, arms behind her back. “This concludes our orientation of earth school!” She says it with boastful humor, confirmed by Steven’s jovial look. “Lapis, I have high hopes you’ll be top of the class!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those immediately curious, yes, in this AU Steven is part native, specifically Choctaw. This won’t cause too many changes in the grand scheme of things, but American history is altered and will be expanded on later. I am open to critique of how I portray Steven’s Choctaw heritage throughout the series. 
> 
> Lapis and Connie formally meet, and there isn’t going to be too much emphasis on Lapis in school (it will add to developments later) I just wanted to set the start of their friendship. School is much more accessible in the HLTYU series than real America, so Connie can go to a library and find school subjects she needs nbd. I wish that were me. Lapis Lazulis in this universe are storytellers rather than terraformers, I'm following canon relatively close now but this will end up taking its own course and Lapis as a storyteller makes more sense for what I have planned. Zircons are very different too, but that's much later. 
> 
> For anyone wondering why I’ve taken so long to update, I thought I could write this chapter then write the next and post this one, but life for me is very rocky. Rather than keep yall waiting I thought I’d finish polishing this one to post. I’ve had to invest my time in my original works to make them more palatable as a source of income, so that has taken more of my attention as well as my degree. That isn’t to say I won’t continue this, this is a fairly big passion project I don’t want to just give up on (I have all of part 1 planned out and a good chunk of part 2), I just have to focus pretty heavily on a delicate part of my life with life changing results no matter what I do. 
> 
> To end with a light note, I will be adding art in later, or linking out to art if I can’t figure out how to place it in chapters. I’m setting up a folder of character sheets I’ll link when I’m ready to share. For the song suggestion of this chapter I recommend [[Suplex by ATCR](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-peCWNaCfyk)], especially for imagining a stickball montage. For the other half of the chapter, I recommend [[Uncharted Realms by Kan R. Gao](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRbTp3NBApE)] !
> 
> To learn about ishtaboli [[click here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dIfbA4VwyRY)] for an informative video!


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